OWP

when my parents are being such assholes leaving us at home with no food and money.. I miss the one person who I could turn to and would buy me and my siblings food... I am sorry he had to always be my saviour. I am sorry for all the times I slammed the door to his face. I was the one who took him for granted and obviously he grew tired of that grew tired of me..and left his feelings for me diffused into the air. I am sorry he had to take on the responsibility of feeding me.. it's as if I am an orphan.. orphan with parents.

It's not alywas this bad but for the past few years I feel like the bad has always weighed out the good...

The leftover

Hi again.

Today I woke up feeling as morbid as ever. Had breakfast, but still.. the weigh in my chest won't lift off. 
Someone invited me to breakfast with them today but it was only because everyone else was angry at that someone.. on a normal day, the possibility of me getting invited for breakfast/lunch is zero to none. I guess I will forever be the leftover that nobody wants.

No money no dignity no.. nothing. But I have Allah. and I thank you for everything no matter how ungrateful I sound like right now, I am and always will try to remember that there are more people with more horryfying problem.

WHY?

Why do I even bother? Why do people emotionally torture other people for their own pleasure? Why can't they just leave other people alone? Why are people so selfish?

People makes me hate people...

Sure, I do ocassionally meet kind hearted people and they are the ones who lift my faith in humanity up from the puddle of mud I've been dwelling in for far too long, but it's the people that are close to you and are supposed to love you unconditionally...? the people who are obligated to love you! They are the ones who have been sending kicks to my ribs when I'm in my puddle of mud.

Nobody ever asks how the child feels...

I am dead broke. My 16 year old sister has more money than I am. and I have resorted to secretly wearing anyone's deodorant... and leeching off of my sister (and parents)

I am lucky to still live with my parents, and actually having them but most times I wish they would just appreciate me. They don't have to understand me, JUST APPRECIATE and RESPECT ME. But whatever right? sucking it up................aaaaaaaaaand we're moving on.
I respect and love them but sometimes they do need a whack in the head.

The bad thing about always being strong is that people expects you to do the same thing in every situation.......

Nobody ever asks how the child feels, nobody ever asks how the middle, unfavorited child feels...